“Uh oh” - @halfadams (x)
Does that mean Trevor is back, guys? OH MY GOD, YESSS!
What if now that Harvey is angry at Mike, Mike starts falling into all his old bad habits? Like hanging out with this guy? Because Mike doesn’t know what to do in a world where Harvey isn’t there to support him. And he just feels so alone more than he has in ages, because suddenly everything’s wrong. Grammy’s gone, Rachel has to hate him after learning the truth about Harvard, Donna — despite her own personal feelings towards him — will always, always be on Harvey’s side, and Jessica will never be in his corner so that she can protect her own, Jenny hasn’t spoken to him in months, Harvey practically hates him, and even sweet, naive Harold is gone. And so in a moment of weakness after what felt like the longest day at the office ever, of being constantly ignored by everyone with case upon case piled on top of his desk until he couldn’t take it anymore and he found himself biking in the other direction instead of heading home until he was standing on Trevor’s front step with his hand still raised. And maybe Trevor isn’t one hundred percent happy to see him, but he’s already too high to really care and invites Mike inside and it’s all that he’s wanted and missed for so long. So he takes a drag of the joint and pretends not to think of the last time he did this with Harvey and leans his head back onto the familiar curve of Trevor’s couch and asks if there’s any leftover pizza in the fridge.
He knows this is a bad idea — a terrible one — but mike just needs to not think for a moment and Trevor has always been able to give him that.
Mike looks down at his watch, swears under his breath, scrubs at his eyes roughly and looks back at the computer screen in front of him, typing furiously. Harvey should be here any minute and Mike isn’t even close to being done with this brief and shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Mike keeps his eyes on the screen, types even faster if possible. “I’m sorry, Rachel, but whatever it is, I don’t have the time right now. I had to finish this brief for Harvey, like, an hour ago.”
He licks his lips, makes a quick correction, and keeps typing.
“It’s about Harvey.”
He turns to look at her and the look on her face makes him immediately uneasy. He pulls his hands from the keyboard, says, “What about Harvey?”
“Donna called.” She hesitates a moment, her eyes wide and shiny, reaching out to him. “There was an accident.”
Mike stares at her, can barely make his mouth form even one word. “What?”
“Harvey was in a car accident, Mike.”
Mike bolts up and out of his chair and goes running down the hallway, barely even registers Rachel’s shouted words of comfort behind him, has just enough sense left to take in the name of the hospital.
Mike isn’t sure how he gets there, he has no idea how long it takes, but he can feel the panic reaching inside him, gripping him tight like a vise, and no matter how hard he tries to breath, to relieve the pressure, all he can feel is it growing stronger, building faster, threatening to pull him under.
He sees Jessica in the hallway and runs toward her and she holds out a hand to stop him, grips his arm, but he doesn’t stop, he can’t stop, he won’t, and as he fights to get his arm free, she gets a look of understanding on her face and says, “Room five thirty-six. The impact was on his side of the car.”
He pulls his arm free and runs down the hall and and toward Harvey’s room before he can hear what else she has to say, before he can hear her tell him he’s losing someone else he loves. There isn’t anyone else left, doesn’t she get that? Doesn’t everyone? There isn’t anyone else left but Harvey. He’s all Mike has.
He stops in front of the door and yanks it open, and the vise gets harder and stronger and so much more painful, and he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe.
He drops his head to his chest and gasps for air, but his body won’t take the oxygen in. He can’t bear to look into the room, even as he stands in the open doorway, and his hand grips the handle as he feels tears start to fall.
He can’t breathe.
He hears Donna’s whispered, “Mike,” but he turns away from her when she tries to take his hand, tries to offer comfort.
Mike’s eyes jolt open and the noise that comes out of his throat is high, pained, as he looks across the room and sees Harvey sitting on the bed, alive and okay and looking at him like he’s so glad to see him and he’s sorry and Mike dives across the room toward him, falls into the chair by the side of the bed, drops his head to the bed.
He presses his head as close as he can to Harvey’s thigh, presses his face into the sheets and lets the tears fall, gasps for air, feels the panic like a living thing. Harvey presses his hand to the back of Mike’s neck, whispers nonsense words to him, shushes and comforts him, tells him he’s okay, he’s here, he’s fine, Mike’s okay, they’re both okay.
Mike leans into the touch, feels the vise begin to loosen, leans into Harvey’s touch, barely registers Donna and Jessica in the room with them.
“His parents died in a car accident.”
Mike gasps, scrunches his eyes, and Harvey squeezes the back of his neck, brings up the other hand to run through his hair.
“Shh, you’re okay. I’m okay. We’re okay.”
ALLI STOP MAKING ME CRY.
Patrick J. Adams and Gabriel Macht at the USA Upfront 2013
Suits 2x02 - The Choice
2 Deleted Scenes: Mike/Rachel, Louis